The last year of a phase: 22→23

It’s September and I’ll try to sum up my last year or end of a phase where I graduated. A lot happened in this one year. There was so much to unlearn and relearn about. I generally try to defer writing things about myself but that is the only thing I want to write about. Writing about yourself involves a lot of effort and introspection.

29 July 2022

The day which I have cherished since class 8 (because of JRD) did not dissappoint. Fourth year had started and I was attending class an MBA class when I received this mail which said that interested students can opt out of 5 year courses with a BTech(IT) degree. This was a news about which I knew but untill that day there was no official confirmation. I was secretly anticipating this. The moment I received the mail, I knew that I am gonna opt it. I am what you call an intuitive or impulsive decision maker. The first thing I did that after that I called home and explained that most probably I’ll be graduating an year early. Deep down I had made the decision but there was no confirmation confronting it. So, I pinged Sachin wanting to discuss this with him. The entire day there was some or the other discussion going about the exit policy but I was assured that whatever may happen, I’ll figure everything out. I will opt it no matter what.

That evening, I had a call with Sachin. I told him the scenario. He posed 3 questions:

• MBA krna chahte ho?
• Yaha se krna chahte ho?
• Abhi krna chahte ho?

It was here that I got my confirmation and Sachin knew it too still we went over the Cons of sticking with MBA. It was here that Sachin told me you’re welcome at Requestly.

Reflecting back, why I did not want to continue with MBA.

• I felt, it is not for me. I do not know if it is because of the college or anything else.
• I was not making justice to it or to myself. I was already associated with Requestly and with it studying something which I was not using doesn’t make sense. Moreover, I was not gonna study anything just pass the tests.
• The assignments and presentations were terrifying me. I would not be giving much time to the course as it was disjoint but had to make the presentations myself(I tend to do my presentations myself). The presentations were not upto the mark because the groundwork was not solid or maybe because I never cared about the foundation on this side of the course.
• I see myself engineering things now.

My peptalk to myself “Never underestimate yourself” never fails to work.

The dreaded BTP

September 2022, I had opted to exit but still had to give my BTP presentation. I had got a deadly panel where reevalutions were prevalent. I did not wanted a reeval, I felt it would take away my time and inturn I would be learning nothing. Indeed, it was a very lucky escapade that day.

Anyways, the lesson learned here is that never take up anything which you do not want to do and if you are compelled to do it for any reason, do it sincerely. Otherwise, it may haunt you. Everytime, I cannot be lucky.

Last days in the hostel

It was pretty clear that whatever we do, will be for the last time. Folks started coming up with their bucket lists. Late night chats, whataboutery led to many discussions. Some items from the bucketlist were ticked off and some couldn’t. It was fun to be able to come up with eccentric plans to have fun together (generally people tend not to waste time).

December, 2022. Our group of friends went to Delhi for a couple of days then a couple of us went to Behror, Pankaj’s place in search of some rejuvenation or trying to tick off an item from the bucketlist. We went to his home. We showed us his hangout spots. Overall, it was a pleasant experience.

Lesson learned here is to keep your friends closer.

Leaving hostel and coming back

January 2023, Everyone start moving to places for internship. I also had to move back to Jamshedpur. Papa got diagnosed with stone in CBD. He went to Bhubaneswar for the operation. I stayed back with my sister at jsr. After 1 month, Mumma had to undergo surgery. I stayed with her at the hospital. It was during the open source week when I had to take leave.

Lesson to be highlighted for me was to always ask what you want. Quoting Dumbledore: Help will be provided to those who ask for it. I wanted leave and wanted to be with my family and I was able to ask for it despite the sprint being very hectic due to open source launch.

Setting up life post college

Slowly this void started to kick in where there is no chaos due to college. There were occasional chaos when I went back for presentations. Wrong notion that I need shanti in my life. I prevail during chaos. Shanti tends to ignite the procrastinator within me.

In the process of setting up my life, I went back to find solace within books. Good old Archer. Tried hands on couple of non fictions but non fiction doesn’t appeal to me. A lot of times, they just repeat the words. Recently, I found that I maybe reading them the wrong way. A non fiction is not there to be completed from start to end like a fiction. You can also read it incomplete, you can even jump chapter. Maybe changing the approach would open up some of the books for me.

After final presentation in college. The Kerala trip happened. Though Kerala is not as good as Arunachal. It did gave some firsts - road trip, food, culture, lessons on planning of the trip. Definitely will miss Karimeen.

Then stayed for a month in Bengaluru. Saw things, experienced things. Saw how tired people get after coming back from work. I really missed my desk at home. I was not able to work properly. I need my stuff to be comfortable. The nomadic work setup will not work for me.

July 2023. I joined Requestly full time. I went back to college for the convocation. I reached hostel for the last time. Left it for the last time. Not all friends were present there because of summer holidays. Thats how I left my hostel for the last time to never come back.

Every event got over for the time being. Stayed in Delhi for a couple of weeks. Everyday something was happening, so much to learn, experience. Sahil Sagar chipping in with things everyday.

August 2023. Back in Jamshedpur, back to my desk but somethings seems off. There’s some void which I feel needs to be taken care of. I thought of reminiscing old days to bring back my power because lullabies of the past, of our history always soothe us. Be it watching those same old cartoons or playing those same video games or meeting old friends. It was all I needed to feel good. I understood that sometimes I just need a little push to be on track otherwise shanti keeps fooling me that life is chill and slow. Being happy is much more important than sorting everything out. I just try to spice up my life my doing things to feel at ease or say feel productive. Being productive is just feeling happy after doing those things in the day. I do not have some consistent hobbies but I have had some hobbies at different points of my life which should keep me engaged provided I do not procrastinate. I can go reading books, play chess or travel or maybe start writing orchestrating my thoughts.

Why is writing these things about myself so tough? Maybe I don’t stop and reflect enough about the daily happenings in my life. I can take this reverse take on this. I can start writing about the major events in my life which could help me reflect better on them.

Hopefully, this article could start into a memoir where I’ll keep reflecting on the events of my life with years to come.